BRB

Hi guys! So unfortunately I was using my computer the other day when my very old charger started to spark and scared the living daylight out of me. Here’s a picture of the blasted thing: 

Anyway, I’ve ordered a new one now but I am still waiting on it to arrive 😦 Unfortunately I hate blogging from my phone so I wanted to give you a heads up if I don’t post anything for a few days. I will catch up on my posts/blogging101 assignments when the new charger gets here and I can use my beloved computer once again! Just wanted to let you know… I guess it only goes to show that you can never rely on technology.

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Day Nine – Get Inspired by the Neighbo(u)rs

Look at me, getting all inspired and whatnot from my new online friends 🙂

Day Nine’s assignment (a day late, I know) for Blogging101 was:

write a post that builds on one of the comments you left yesterday. Don’t forget to link to the other blog!

So… what is now two days ago, I read a post talking about the importance of balancing your time and the importance of breaks from work. I completely support the idea of planning out your time and always scheduling in things that aren’t one of the many things you probably “should” be doing during your day.

Keeping this balance in order has always been a challenge of mine. As a typical teenager, I have often placed instant gratification ahead of the rewards of long-term gratification in my decision-making process. This has meant that I’ve definitely watched one too many episodes of Dexter or gone out on one too many evenings when I should have been studying for my quiz that I was planning to take at 8 AM the next morning…

However, I’ve realized that when it comes to finding happiness and that sweet balance of fun and work, planning and setting goals is everything. Sometimes I get into “the zone” and work for hours on end. At the time, I feel very accomplished and proud of myself, but an hour later you can probably find me drooling all over my desk, fast asleep. My point is that the best way to be productive is to work in manageable amounts at a time, as well as doing “breaks” the right way.

Here is the wrong way to take a break: do nothing/partying your sorrows away.

Here is a slightly more improved version of a productive break: read, nap, go on a walk, write, draw, one or two episodes of Netflix.

Yes, of course, we all deserve “nothing-days” where we burrow ourselves into a cozy nest under our covers, sip tea, and binge-watch Netflix. There’s nothing wrong with that. All I’m saying is that maybe next time you find yourself with some free time on your hands, make it worthwhile. I’m hoping to improve upon this throughout the summer; I’m starting by making a bucket list. If I have a list of long-term goals or things I’ve been wanting to do, I’ll have something at the ready for the next time I find myself bored or saying I have “nothing to do.”

(Side note: I used to regularly find myself with “nothing to do” growing up, which seems absurd to me now. There’s always something to do.)

So in an attempt to find something to do, here’s my Summer 2015 Bucket List…

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How are you planning on spending your lovely summer time? 🙂

Blogging 101: Day Eight – Be a Good Neighbo(u)r

Wait… did I read that correctly? Day eight?!!

Okay, so since I haven’t previously mentioned this in any of my previous blog posts (woops…), many of you may not know that I am currently taking part in the online Blogging101 course, which will hopefully strengthen my skills as a writer and blogger!

As I currently jam out to “I’m N Luv (Wit A Stripper)” by T-Pain, I write in an effort to reach out to some of my fellow Blogging101-ers, as well as anyone else who may happen to stumble across this humble little blog of mine.

(And yes, I know as a feminist I should not be listening to such “trash”, but it’s catchy and I’m allowed to have my guilty pleasures.)

So far, I haven’t exactly been completing every assignment to a T, but I have been trying to do my best with staying up to date! Today’s assignment was to:

leave comments on at least four blogs that you’ve never commented on before.

Boy, did I enjoy this assignment. I must admit, I commented on a few more than four blogs. For someone who isn’t exactly fluent in the language of face-to-face social interaction, I’m excited to be able to connect with people through my writing. I love the community that the course has provided me with thus far, and it’s comforting to know that I’m not the only blogger out there just starting out, not really sure where they are headed. But then again, I suppose that’s the point of this journey.

I hope that as I continue to blog I’ll be able to connect with others with similar (and different) interests, beliefs, and situations. I must admit, every time I get a notification saying someone liked my comment, or replied to something I posted, my heart jumps a bit. I suppose that’s why we are all here on the internet, writing about our various and completely diverse experiences, hoping to find others to connect with! There’s a giant online community out there, and I hope that I am able to become a part of it.

Until next time…

Monday Musings: Longing for How I Used to Be

Hello all…

Do you ever find a movie that just speaks to your inner thoughts and emotions? Well I just found one one Netflix called The Sisterhood of Night. MV5BODg3MjE0MDM4N15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwOTY0MjE5NDE@._V1_SX214_AL_You may recognize the main actress (Georgie Henley) from the Chronicles of Narnia series. Last time I saw those movies she was only a girl, but now Lucy is all grown up and apparently shredded any trace of her British accent.

This movie made me cry.

It made me cry because it reminded me of what it was like being a young teenage girl, going through everything without always feeling like she had a place to turn to. In the movie, a town goes into utter chaos because there are rumors of a “cult,” called the Sisterhood, that has been formed by some of the girls at the local high school. Nobody outside of the Sisterhood really knows what it is, and with the added online rumors being spread around by their fellow classmates, parents and media alike obsess over the scandalous mystery of what these young girls are getting up to at night. I’m not going to spoil the ending, but it is very touching and shows the importance of a) having someone you trust to talk to and b) being able to have privacy and keep certain things to yourself.

It reminded me of a time in my high school life where everything felt so out of control that I made a promise to myself to avoid people as much as possible, as well as removing myself from social media altogether. Every day in school I would hide myself away in the library, especially during the busiest time of the day… lunch time. My mind sometimes ran away from me, and the added pressure of having to try to fit in with the groups I hung out with was too much for me at the time. I must admit, getting off of social media and limiting my interactions with other people did help my clear my head up. It helped me see past the superficial relationships/technology that had been holding me down and let me respect my own needs by giving myself the space and time I needed to figure out how to deal with what I was going through.

This movie definitely had similar themes to the dilemmas I faced in high school. It also made me slightly nostalgic to when things weren’t so complicated, yet somehow more potent and intense.

Now that I’m more grown up, I obviously have the ability to make more decisions for myself, and I would hope that I now know myself a lot better in order to do so. Those precious years when I was turning into the person I would be for the rest of my life were the ones that will stay with me and hold an importance in my heart forever. Those years were crucial when it came to becoming an independent person and learning what mattered to me most. Those years were hard.

I’m sure that if I ever become a mother I’m going to have to deal with a moody teenage daughter (going off of my past behavior growing up), and at times will have no idea where to turn to or how to help her. I suppose the most important thing that I’ve learned going through this experience myself is that people love you and will always be there for you, even when you come to them with parts of your life that you thought were so horrible that no one would be able to help.

It’s scary growing up, not knowing if anyone else understands you or has been what you’re going through. I assure you, they have. It’s important to keep the people who are really important to you close, and recognize those who are only there bringing you down.

At some points of high school, I was afraid because I wasn’t able to picture where I would be in the close future. I couldn’t see how I was going to make it out of there. I thought that high school was going to be the end of me and that I would ever escape. I’m so glad I kept going, because what other choice did I really have?

Although it was such a confusing and dramatic period of my life, I am grateful for having to go through it. It taught me so much and forced me to feel things so strongly that I haven’t felt since. Maybe it’s because of all of the numbing that society and media forces upon you, along with other escapes that we find to avoid feeling those intense emotions again, like drugs or alcohol.

Admittedly, those intense emotions I felt in high school were sometimes unbearable: emotions of despair, grief, love, and the thrill of it all. But I do miss them. I miss the way I used to be. When I still didn’t really know what was out there in the world (I’m not sure I still do, but at least I’m a little more aware) and where my place was in it. I miss being naïve and having to grow up. However, now that some of the growing up has occurred, I realize that some of the darkest days of my life have also turned out to be some of my most precious memories.

I hope that if I ever have a daughter, I am able to convey to her that whatever she goes through, she will not be alone in it. No matter whether I will be able to relate or not, I hope to promise her that I will always try to understand, even and especially when she thinks no one will.

Finding That Perfect Place

Aghh!! I’ve been neglecting my blog for the past week or so. I KNOW and I’m sorry, 😥

Oh well… Nobody’s perfect and that includes me.

Part of the reason that I I haven’t been able to post that much was because I was so caught up in cramming for some of my final exams. I made the trek back up to Bucknell this past Friday to take two exams for my statistics course (thank God I’m done…) and it made me remember why I fell in love with the school in the first place.

You know how high school students dream of walking on to the campus of their future school and immediately getting that feeling that it would be “the one”? Well, that’s exactly what happened to me. I hadn’t even stepped foot on campus and I already knew that I was going to fall in love with it.

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I clearly remember the first time I visited. It was for admitted students day and my mom and I were staying at a hotel about twenty minutes away.

Now one thing you should know about Bucknell is that it is kind of in the middle of nowhere… But the middle of nowhere happens to feel like home to me. We were driving up to the hotel and I was staring in awe of the hanging clouds looming over the rolling hills surrounding us. It was slightly drizzling and around every turn we made there was another picturesque red barn with a pasture full of horses or cows roaming the grass. Either that, or a vast expanse of graveyard. Either way, I loved it. The simplicity of the land spoke to me and reminded me of my days growing up in Ohio. I love open land and being able to go to school right in the middle of it all; it’s liberating to say the least.

Since I left campus last semester before any of the trees had blossomed (on account of my mono), I never got to fully appreciate the beauty of my school in full throttle. Even though the visit back was slightly dampered with the fact that I had to take four hours of statistics exams (yuck), I was so happy to be able to walk around and show my mom all of the buildings that contain so many memories for me… some of which I shared with my her, and others which I could not.

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I am so excited to start this coming semester off to a fresh start, and hopefully this time my immune system won’t fail me and I’ll actually be able to make the most out of all of my classes. (My attendance last semester was mediocre, at best.) I wish that every rising college student will be able to have that moment where their intuition tells them that they have found the right place to spend the next four years of their lives growing and learning.

As for now, I have to stop procrastinating and start studying for my multivariable calculus final which I am taking towards the end of the month. Wish me luck and I hope to talk to you soon!

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